Ever wondered about the meaning behind the descriptive words in the
personals?  Wonder no more... here for your perusal, the Personal Ads
Dictionary.

"WOMEN SEEKING MEN" Classifieds

 CODE WORD (MEANING)
    40-ish (48)
    Adventurer (Has had more partners than you ever will)
    Affectionate (Possessive)
    Artist (Unreliable)
    Athletic (Flat chested)
    Average looking (Ugly)
    Beautiful (Pathological liar)
    Commitment-minded (Pick out curtains, now!)
    Communication important (Just try to get a word in edgewise)
    Contagious Smile (Bring your penicillin)
    Educated (College dropout)
    Emotionally Secure (Medicated)
    Employed (Has part-time job stuffing envelopes at home)
    Enjoys art and opera (Snob)
    Enjoys Nature (Bring your own granola)
    Exotic Beauty (Would frighten a Martian)
    Feminist (Fat; ball buster)
    Financially Secure (One paycheck from the street)
    Free spirit (Substance user)
    Friendship first (Trying to live down reputation as slut)
    Fun (Annoying)
    Gentle (Comatose)
    Good Listener (Borderline Autistic)
    Humorous (Caustic)
    Intuitive (Your opinion doesn't count)
    In Transition (Needs new sugar-daddy to pay the bills)
    Light drinker (Lush)
    Looks younger (If viewed from far away in bad light)
    Loves Travel (If you're paying)
    Loves Animals (Cat lady)
    Mature (Will not let you treat her like a farm animal in bed)
    New-Age (All body hair, all the time)
    Non-traditional (Ex-husband lives in the basement)
    Old-fashioned (Lights out, missionary position only)
    Open-minded (Desperate)
    Outgoing (Loud)
    Passionate (Loud)
    Petite (Wouldn't stand out in a pack of Munchkins)
    Poet (Depressive Schizophrenic)
    Professional (Bitch)
    Redhead (Shops on the Clairol aisle)
    Reliable (Frumpy)
    Reubenesque (Grossly Fat)
    Romantic (Looks better by candle light)
    Self-employed (Jobless)
    Smart (Insipid)
    Special (Rode the short schoolbus)
    Spiritual (Involved with a cult)
    Stable (Boring)
    Tall, thin (Anorexic)
    Tan  (Wrinkled)
    Voluptuous (Very Fat)
    Weight proportional to height (Hugely Fat)
    Wants Soulmate (One step away from stalking)
    Widow (Nagged first husband to death)
    Writer (Pompous)
    Young at heart (Toothless crone)