M: - Men's Answers W: - Women's Answers (Written by: Tammy) Q: How do I know if I'm ready for sex ? M: ask your boyfriend. He'll know when the time is right. When it comes to love and sex, men are much more responsible, since they're not confused emotionally as women. It's a proven fact. W: When you're out of batteries. Q: Should I have sex on the first date ? M: YES. Before if possible. W: Not if you want a second date. Only do this if you really enjoy rashes and other gifts "that keep on giving" from a guy. Q: What exactly happens during the act of sex ? M: Again, this is entirely up to the man. The important thing to remember is that you must do whatever he tells you without question. Sometimes, however, he may ask you to do certain things that may at first seem strange to you. Do them anyway. W: Women, this is completely up to you - he really is clueless. It's our job to teach him. If you don't, the experience will be something like: grunt..."oh baby!"...snore... Q: How long should the sex act last ? M: This is a natural and normal part of nature, so don't feel ashamed or embarrassed. After your man has finished making love, he'll have a natural desire to leave you suddenly, and go out with his friends to play golf. Or perhaps another activity, such as going out with his friends to the bar for the purpose of consuming large amounts of alcohol and sharing a few personal thoughts with his buddies. Don't feel left out - while he's gone you can busy yourself by doing his laundry, cleaning his apartment, or perhaps even going out to buy him an expensive gift. He'll come back when he's ready. W: Hours - the longer the better. Quickies are really overrated. Remember, when he just starts to hyperventilate and you see his eyes cross, STOP whatever it was you were doing IMMEDIATELY and say you have to go to the bathroom...after all, you wouldn't want to cheat him out of the experience by letting it end so quickly...An important side note: Men love it when you repeatedly try to kiss them right after performing oral sex...try it & watch your man squirm with excitement! Q: What is "afterplay" ? M: After a man has finished making love, he needs to replenish his manly energy. "Afterplay" is simply a list of important activities for you to do after the lovemaking. This includes lighting his cigarette, making him a sandwich or pizza, bringing him a few beers, or leaving him alone to sleep while you go out and buy him an expensive gift. W: This is what the woman does to pleasure herself after the act of sex (while the man is sleeping) since he wasn't able to accomplish it (but he thinks he did). This is also a good time to "borrow" another pair of his favorite boxers. Q: Does the size of the penis matter ? M: Yes. Although many women believe that quality, not quantity, is important, studies show this is simply not true. The average erect male penis measures about six centimeters. Anything longer than that is extremely rare and, if by some chance your lover's sexual organ is seven centimeters or over, you should go down on your knees and thank you lucky stars and do everything possible to please him, such as doing his laundry, cleaning his apartment and buying him an expensive gift. W: Size is only relevant when it comes to women's breast (don't believe that "more than a mouthful thing"). Yet men want to be measured by their performance and not their size (unless, of course, size is all they have to offer - they don't usually have both). Q: What about the female orgasm ? M: What about it ? There's no such thing. It's a myth. W: Ladies first - if he goes first, you're done. Q: Are you sure ? M: Will you stop asking so many questions ? Do you distrust men or something? Instead, prove how much you care for your boyfriend by going out and buying him an expensive gift.