Men's Rules for Women
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1.   Don't demand a precise time when he'll call.
2.   Bitching is not sexy.
3.   Ditto for nagging.
4.   If you're always right, stop asking his opinion.
5.   Two words: turn signal.
6.   An "I don't know, what do you want to do?" is not an acceptable
      answer to every question.
7.   Never bring home a cat as a surprise.
8.   Don't even bother touching the remote, just tell him what you want
      to see.
9.   Televised sports are more important than stories about your friends.
10. Despite what you think, sometimes he is happier left alone.
11. Believe it or not, he could care less how he looks when he's drunk.
12. If you don't love him, keep having sex with him as long as you are
       spending his money.
13. "No" means no, and "Yes" means yes.  Silence means he can't get
        a word in edgewise.