To all the women out there.

Say a guy asks you out.  Stop and think about your comparative economic
situations.  The odds are, he makes more money than you do. Guys don't
generally date "up", and even if professionally you're at the same level,
he's getting paid more money for doing the exact same job. So he can afford
to pay for you. (Frankly, if you're hoping to marry and have children with
this man, he's making enough money to support a family when you have to
take a maternity leave and raise his offspring.)

But, in case you need more justification, read on:

Now, for him to ask you out, think about how you looked when he saw
you. Your haircut?  It cost more than his.  Your clothes?  Not only
are they more expensive, but women's fashions change more rapidly
than men's, so you've spent far more money getting dressed.  And when
you take it to the dry cleaners, or the laundry, they charge you more,
even though there's less fabric.  Even if every line item in your
wardrobe was identical, think about the two items that you have that
he doesn't: that bra (and probably not a cheap one,you were wearing
-- the Wonderbra, or he wouldn't have bothered in the first place)
and pantyhose.  Expensive, and they run.  Oh, did I mention cosmetics?

So, it's cost you a lot more money, just to get to the point where he's
inclined to ask you out.  And HE asked YOU out. In business, if someone
asks you to lunch, they're paying, right?  You don't even think about this,
do you?  Okay. So, he comes to pick you up.  That apartment of yours?
Because you're a woman, you have to think about living in a safe (read:
more expensive) neighborhood.  You insist on an "upper" apartment, which is
at least $10 more a month.  How about the pepper spray in your purse, or
the cell phone for emergencies?

How many guys have that stuff to defend themselves from those marauding
bands of female rapists and muggers?  How about all the times you've valet
parked because you don't want to walk a block or two in THAT neighborhood?
If you live in New York, all the times you've taken a cab home instead of
the subway because it's not safe for a woman to be out at that hour?

You go out, you let him pay.

It goes well, (because even if they bitch and moan about it, paying does
make them feel like a man) he keeps asking you out.  So, why not reach for
the wallet now?

Are you planning to have sex with him?

So, that annual check-up you get just to make sure that all the parts
are working properly?  Unless your gynecologist knows the insurance
scam,that's at least $100 a year that's not covered. And then, there's the
birth control issue.  Okay, at first, maybe for awhile, you're using
condoms. He might even be paying for some of those, at pennies a pop.  But
we've done the math. We know what the failure rates are there.  So even if
Trojan Man is paying a visit, we're probably employing a backup method.
You read Cosmo. You know.

Everything is expensive and laden with hideous, probably not entirely
known, side effects. The only inexpensive, side-effect-free method ofbirth
control is the word NO. Which doesn't always work, and that's expensive and
really shitty if it fails.


So there you have it.  He asked you to dinner, he picked the restaurant,
let him pick up the tab.  Be a charming companion - you know the expression
"dining out on that story..." If you want to do something nice for him,
make him dinner once in awhile.  Buy really nice lingerie. Stock up on his
favorite brand of condom.  Pay for your half of the vacation. But never,
ever, pay for the date.  No amount of sushi at Matsuhisa can possibly
compensate for what it cost you to get your butt in that chair.

I'm all for equality, and letting a guy buy you dinner once in a while is a
very fair way to even out the financial (and psychic) costs of being an
attractive female that men want to buy dinner for.